Trust me, we are all struggling.
A love letter to the mess, the overwhelm, and the very real homes we live in.
If there’s one thing I hear over and over again when I first meet a client, it’s this:
“I’m so sorry about the state of my home.”
And every time, my heart softens a little more. Because what they’re really apologising for is living. For breathing, existing, raising children, working hard, surviving.
Let me say this loud and clear: you don’t need to apologise for your home. Mess doesn’t mean failure—it means life is happening.
We’re All Carrying So Much
I work with mums, dads, families, couples, individuals—all kinds of people in all kinds of homes. From tidy flats to chaotic family houses, from high-end properties to new-build starter homes. And here’s the truth: everyone is juggling more than they can carry.
We’re raising kids without a village. We don’t have aunties next door or a gran around the corner anymore. Our jobs have pulled us away from our communities, the cost of living has pushed us out of the areas our parents raised us in, and now we’re just... trying. Trying to keep up. Trying to hold everything together.
Two working parents. Or a single one. Or no kids but a busy career. One person ends up holding all the extra—the laundry, the tidying, the meal planning, the appointments, the constant mental checklist. The emotional load is real, and heavy, and often invisible.
What Does a "Tidy Home" Even Mean?
Somehow, we’ve attached so much worth to having a clean, picture-perfect home. A “tidy house” is praised, admired. But what does it really represent?
Time. Space. Energy.
Things many of us simply don’t have right now.
The truth is, a messy home tells a story—a far richer one than a spotless floor.
The toys on the rug? Laughter happened there.
The dishes in the sink? A family meal was shared, maybe with a side of debate or giggles or a silent moment after a long day.
The laundry pile? A busy week, full of real life.
I See It All—And I Feel It Too
I don’t have children myself, and I struggle. My clients with three kids struggle. My elderly clients struggle. Uni students? Struggling. People with housekeepers and people with none. No one I’ve ever worked with—no matter how polished things look—has it all together.
We’re all having that same moment, at least once a week, where we stand in the middle of a room and think:
“When will this end?”
The constant demands of home management, life admin, and emotional labour are draining—and they’ve become near impossible to handle alone.
So... What Can We Actually Do?
Let’s be real—life isn’t going to suddenly get less busy. But here’s what we can do:
We can lower the pressure we put on ourselves.
We can let go of the idea that a tidy home equals a successful life.
And we can find tiny habits that support our mental wellbeing—without expecting ourselves to do everything, all the time.
Start small.
Maybe it’s just making the bed in the morning.
That one act can bring a little calm, a little order. No matter what the rest of the house looks like, you’ll come home to one space that feels reset. And that’s powerful.
Ask for help if you need it—from a partner, a friend, a neighbour, or yes, a service like ours.
But most importantly: stop feeling ashamed of a messy home.
Mess means living.
It means love, growth, connection, effort, energy.
The quiet chaos of day-to-day life is where the good stuff lives.
So next time you’re tempted to say, “sorry about the mess,” stop yourself.
Take a breath.
And remember: a messy home is a loved one.
You’re doing beautifully. And you are not alone.
A Final Word: Please, Stop Apologising
So, let’s stop striving for perfection. Let’s stop hiding the hard bits. Let’s build a new kind of support system—together.
No more apologies.
You’re doing your best. And I promise—you’re not the only one.
With love,
Katie
Founder, New Town Nests
